I HATE Tests...

“I HATE Tests…”

“Test me, O LORD, and try me, examine my heart and my mind.”
– Psalm 26:2 (NIV)

I do believe that I have a little test anxiety.

This would fit nicely with the other 1,268 anxieties I have in life (I’m exaggerating here, of course, but I do have some “doozies”). I actually never even realized there was such a condition until I saw it featured on shows like “20/20”, “Primetime”, “60 Minutes”, and other such shows. I remember being wide-eyed throughout the broadcasts, saying essentially – “That’s me! I have that!” For those who may be wondering, test anxiety is defined as:

“a psychological condition in which a person experiences distress before, during, or after an exam or other assessment to such an extent that this anxiety causes poor performance or interferes with normal learning.” (Wikipedia – for a more full explanation, see: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Test_anxiety.)

When I was in middle school, my parents took me to a psychologist because, while my tested IQ was in the genius range and I could articulate a wide variety of subject matter with adults (including waxing eloquent on any subject matter of tests and quizzes), I did terrible at actually taking said tests and quizzes.

I now believe that I had/have something of test anxiety.

King David in the Bible didn’t have such issues, apparently. He begins chapter 26 of Psalms by asking God for vindication, and then says something that is shocking to me. He says, “for I have led a blameless life.”

REALLY?

DAVID?!?

The same David that had an adulterous affair?

The same David that had a top general and friend murdered to cover up that sin?

THAT David?

But wait, he goes even further – he invites the God of all the universe, the Holy God of Israel, the Righteous Judge of all the earth… THAT God… to “test him” and “try him” and “examine his heart”.

Whoa.

Talk about test anxiety.

Do I really want to invite the very personification of perfection, the quintessential hallmark of holiness, the whole and complete image of righteousness to have access to every nook and cranny, to every skeleton-lined closet, to every depraved recess of my mind? {*SHUDDERS INVOLUNTARILY*} That’s some serious stuff, man. But, you know what? Here’s the thing: He already does have such access, whether I offer that invitation or not – the Bible clearly says He already knows our every thought.

Still – did David have any idea what he was asking?

Here’s what the “Life Application Bible” has to say in commentary about that:

“In asking God to declare him ‘blameless,’ David was not claiming to be sinless – that is impossible for any human being to achieve. Instead, he was pleading with God to clear his name of the false charges made against him by his enemies. We also can ask God to examine us, trusting him to forgive our sins and clear our record according to His mercy.” – “Life Application Study Bible, NIV, pg 851.

I want to live my life in such a way that, if permission were ever required of God to do so, I would have no compulsions about giving it to Him to “test me, try me, and examine my heart”. I may not ever be perfect in the sense of perfection of performance, but I can have a perfection of heart intention that comes in an instant, sanctifying me “through and through”, while living out that sanctification in a daily willful submission to Him.

He forgives. He cleanses. He blots out any record of wrong to the point to where even He doesn’t remember it any more.

You know what? I think I’ll take “David’s test” today in my prayer below. Want to join me?

Father God,
Try me and test me.
Examine my heart.
And if You find anything there that is wicked, opposed to You, evil, and/or sinful –
please bring it to the surface level of my conscious mind
so that I may turn from it, ask forgiveness, and be cleansed of all unrighteousness.
In Jesus' Name,
AMEN!

Don't JUDGE Me!

“Don’t JUDGE Me!”

“Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults
– unless, of course, you want the same treatment.
Don't condemn those who are down; that hardness can boomerang.
Be easy on people; you'll find life a lot easier.
Give away your life; you'll find life given back,
but not merely given back – given back with bonus and blessing.
Giving, not getting, is the way. Generosity begets generosity."
– Luke 6:37-38 (Msg.)

I think it can become problematic when we attempt to verify the "Christian-ness" of someone else. The problem lies with the fact that this attempt it leaves no room (makes no allowance, gives no grace) for "Christian growth". Even if we are to judge someone else by the standard of our own Christian walk - is that really fair? Perhaps we've been walking with God longer. Perhaps we've had more revelation than they have.

Don’t misunderstand me. I fully believe there should be standards and there are things that are clearly spelled out as right and wrong in Scripture, but this doesn't give us license to go around questioning a persons salvation based on whatever miniscule fragment of what they have chosen to reveal about their lives, does it?

Certainly there are those who are clear in their antagonism of Christianity, and are so far removed from "right and wrong" that it's readily apparent that they are not Christians in the way that we would commonly understand and affirm.

This is not what I’m talking about here.

What we are discussing is the questioning of the validity of a person’s salvation based upon limited knowledge.

I think that some of the problem lies in this: many people are more than willing to accept Jesus as Savior... they just struggle with making Him Lord. What I mean by that is there are those who are more than content with a mere saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, but are completely devoid of the sanctifying lifestyle that Scripture indicates goes hand-in-hand. My understanding of being a disciple of Christ means that one necessarily follows the other. But at what point is the line of delineation drawn for those who wish to determine whether one is “truly” a Christian or not?

And what if that person does get everything "right"? I mean whatever one's "checklist" of what it means to be Christian - what if someone fulfills everyone of these and passes with flying colors? What have they really achieved by this alone? Didn't the Sadducees and Pharisees do the same? John Wesley has been quoted as saying that sanctification is not about "perfection of performance, but perfection (used in this sense as "in the process of completing"; or "moving towards making whole") of the heart". One's heart intent may be in the process of completion; be moving towards making whole; be in the act of perfecting; i.e. being sanctified... even when one's actions are not yet.

This doesn't give us license to sin; no, Paul said "God forbid!" to that kind of thinking. But it does help us to understand that we cannot expect the same maturity of an infant than we can a toddler; a toddler than we can a child; a child than we can a teenager; a teenager than we can a young adult; a young adult than we can an adult; an adult than we can a senior. There are definitive life stages that we all must go through in the physical, and therewith are to some degree defined. The same is true in the spiritual.

However, having said that, it should be noted that it is certainly true that some people become stuck in these various stages, to their own detriment. I cannot believe this pleases God. Still, grace applies, does it not? We’ve seen some snow since we’ve been here in Denver. I've seen many vehicles stuck in the snow. So when someone is stuck, what should we do? Chastise them for getting stuck? Argue with them that they should know better by now? Yell at them for not having a 4-wheel drive vehicle by now? Shake our heads sadly at them and keep on driving (after all, we don't want to get stuck with them, do we)? No, of course not. We don’t do any of those things, because that would be wrong. What we do, is stop and help them get unstuck.

Genuine transformation occurs by a purposeful changing (the Bible calls it a "renewing") of our minds. This doesn't happen overnight. It happens over time through trust, love, and gentleness with one that we have earned the right to have relationship with. It happens in natural, organic, "teachable" moments that arise out of healthy relationship. I think this is why Jesus spent so much time with sinners.

This doesn't mean that any compromise need occur. Did Jesus compromise with his "sinner friends?" Did He point out all of their sins? Did He give them the Four Spiritual Laws and urge them to "make a decision" RIGHT NOW - BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE? No. He "did life" with them, and waited for natural, organic, "teachable" moments with them that arise out of healthy relationships. No, no compromise need occur to achieve this kind of discipling. Quite the opposite, in fact.

The Church of the Nazarene somewhere once had a statement about ourselves that I thought was just beautiful. The statement said (in part) that we are "conservative in doctrine (which we are - quite possibly one of the most conservative denominations out there), but liberal in love."

I like that.

That is the kind of balance I seek to achieve with both my brothers and sisters as well as those who don't yet know what they believe, if anything at all. And there is a balance to be achieved here. The Scriptures that led up to our text today concerned themselves completely with the subject of love. Our text talked about being careful in judging others. And the one that follows next speaks about how we can determine what kind of tree any given tree is by the fruit it bears.

What do I determine from all of this, then? Why, that we are to be loving, careful, fruit inspectors. Achieve that balance in your life, and we will be on our way towards “perfecting our hearts”.

Father God,
Help us to be encouragers, not discouragers of those who are weaker in the faith.
In Jesus' Name,
AMEN!